February 2012
2 posts
January 2012
8 posts
No fags in heaven. God doesn't like smokers and...
That’s what I’m saying.
humbleorphans asked: If you maintained this blog regularly it would be potentially the most glorious thing on tumblr.
Anonymous asked: (::::
Wait a second is longer than a year right?
Or something like that. What’s time again exactly?
Anonymous asked: Dear God, please bring to me a cute neighbor who i will become best friends with who is a guy. and one day i will ask him to kiss me because i have never been kissed. and he will do it and realize he loves me and then we will date and get married and be together forever
October 2011
3 posts
5 tags
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
2 posts
thingsillsaywhenimfamous asked: Why the fuck don't you stop the tragedies in our world: War, famine, genocide, British teeth, Justin Beiber's career, etc.?
Anonymous asked: fchdfxgsd
July 2011
3 posts
Anonymous asked: I saw this article and made $ online you dumbass, do it. articlelink13(dot)com
This is my JAM.
June 2011
12 posts
As much as I hate when you stub your toe and...
what I hate hearing even more is “balls!”
How can “balls” help you? Jeezy can definitely help you, so calling his name makes some sense. Not that he would, I mean, it’s just a stubbed toe. Man up.
But “balls”, people? All they do is hang around, pun very intended.
My point is, next time you hurt yourself doing something stupid, yell...
Let's play a game called Bible Rewrite. →
In the light of the Anthony Weiner scandal, I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the things I might have said or done that have offended or otherwise hurt billions of a few people over the years. So here’s the game:
Go to this website.
Choose a bible verse that you would like rewritten (don’t make it a long one, I’m still drowning in Flood paperwork.)
Drop it in this...
The worst part about premarital sex?
Having to watch the awkward exchanges between you twenty-somethings the morning after a one-night stand. I can’t miss a second of anything, so I get caught up in your post-coital fumblings day in and day out. Pathetic.
No she doesn’t want cab money, Derek. She just wants to get over her hangover and for you to never call her again. But you will, won’t you? You’re too...
inthelifeofkayy-deactivated2011 asked: Loool your a great god x
inthelifeofkayy-deactivated2011 asked: So we live a life of hate and pain to die and live forever in a 'perfect' heaven <<isnt that boring x
i dnt believe that tyler is the creator i dnt think there is a creator x
i dnt believe that tyler is the creator i dnt think there is a creator x
inthelifeofkayy-deactivated2011 asked: If god is good why did he make evil ? Satan? Cancer ? Hatred ?
I'm an academic x
I'm an academic x
silentrequiem asked: When we say "like a boss" it's totally you we're talking about. This tumblr needs to be immortal.
I enjoy the occasional mortal inquiry. →
They’re cute, really.
May 2011
36 posts
lyeinfant asked: Currently watching The Jersey Shore…
I’m seriously fighting off the urge to hurl the Earth straight into the Sun.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok wht does God think about getting high?
I’m seriously fighting off the urge to hurl the Earth straight into the Sun.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok wht does God think about getting high?
I'm the almighty ruler of all that is tangible and...
Destroyer and creator, Alpha and Omega, the all knowing and almighty.
And I could only nyan for 45.8 seconds before I wanted to implode everything from within.
Disappointed? So am I.
"What if God was one of us?"
As in “What if God wore Ed Hardy, listened to gangsta rap, and went fake tanning?”
Yeah, not happening.
P.S., it should be “what if God were one of us.” Go to school Joan Osborne. And don’t call me a slob.
And I would never ride a bus.
l-bo:
If you’re going to believe in Him, completely believe.
If you’re going to love Him love Him fully.
If you’re going to give Him anything, Give Him your all,
For He gave you the best He had.
For the record this is referring to me, God Almighty, not that cute guy Chad in your history class with the “killer pecs.”
Random Confession.
theysaida-stormwascoming:
When I was younger, I was always mad at God because I didn’t wake up pretty like I always asked.
You are beautiful no matter what they say, words can’t bring you down. And I don’t care if those are Christina lyrics because it’s the damned truth.
But really, you can’t just ask for something.
I mean, I can make your wish come true. You gotta...
Okay, so this whole "Rapture" thing isn't...
But I’ll be damned* if I don’t send a meteor or something as a warning.
So take note: cancel Glee.
*I can’t be damned.
Whoa whoa whoa.........the Rapture on Saturday?
This is WAAAAAAAAY ahead of schedule.
I was planning on seeing a third reboot of the Spiderman movies and had my fingers crossed for a pregnant Mila Kunis.
I’ve gotta call Jeezy and find out who the heck authorized this thing.
Currently watching The Jersey Shore...
I’m seriously fighting off the urge to hurl the Earth straight into the Sun.
But then I think of how good that would be for tanning, and the irony is too much to handle, so I hold back.
1 tag
Anonymous asked: what are you doing for mother's day?
It's funny,
I’m the omniscient, all-powerful creator and sovereign ruler of all matter throughout space, time and reality, yet I’m still stuck doing stupid things like hosting air harp competitions.
I swear to me, this job is going to be theoretical death of me.
