January 2010
19 posts
Wait it's New Year's?
Oh my. I’m still getting used to this Gregorian Calendar nonsense.
Jan 1st
8 notes
December 2009
30 posts
2012 is right around the corner.
Not that it’s a particularly important year or anything. …
Dec 30th
14 notes
Dec 27th
20 notes
Dec 27th
249 notes
Well, J.C.'s party went well.
I got him nails, but he didn’t really seem to like them. I mean, what kind of carpenter doesn’t li- Oh. Okay, yeah, I get the problem with… that… now… Yeeeeaaaahhhh.
Dec 26th
31 notes
Oh my me.
It’s my kid’s birthday tomorrow! What do I get him? Oh, I know! Oh, wait. He already has a Snuggie.
Dec 25th
Dec 22nd
12 notes
Cosmicism
growingup: “The philosophy of cosmicism states that there is no recognizable divine presence, such as God, in the universe, and that humans are particularly insignificant in the larger scheme of intergalactic existence, and perhaps are just a small species projecting their own mental idolatries onto the vast cosmos, ever susceptible to being wiped from existence at any moment. Perhaps the most...
Dec 19th
15 notes
Dec 19th
128 notes
Dec 19th
9 notes
Dec 18th
45 notes
Dec 17th
85 notes
Dec 16th
Dec 15th
Ugh.
I think the hinges on the Gates are coming loose. You’d think having a carpenter around the house, there wouldn’t be a problem. Eh, at least they’re still Pearly.
Dec 15th
12 notes
When I was an angel, they called me "Hot Wings."
archangel-michael: (via therealsatan) We did not, you liar. Yeah, I’m pretty sure we called you super-jerk-face.
Dec 15th
25 notes
Sometimes, I just don't feel important anymore.
Thanks, material possessions.
Dec 14th
16 notes
Dec 14th
54 notes
Dec 14th
5 notes
"Are you there God? It's me, Margaret."
Yeah I know it’s you, Margaret. I’m God.
Dec 13th
For the record,
I don’t care if you’re gay or not. Just be nice. And don’t eat my apples, damn it.
Dec 11th
34 notes
Dec 8th
4 notes
Dec 7th
1,195 notes
Okay, I really dislike the e-mails I get.
From Purgatory: “Hey Elohim, Wondering why you haven’t renewed Good Housekeeping or Us Weekly. We still have the June issues. Also, we’re looking into new wallpaper if it’s in the budget.” From Satan: “heeeey bitch, wanna hit up that chillass lobster place i told you about? cmon man, their breadsticks are the shittttt.” From The Westboro Baptist Church:...
Dec 5th
I haven't slept in ages.
Last time I did, though… Dark Ages… … …I’m gonna make myself a cup of joe.
Dec 5th
Lots of new followers!
therealsatan: Any of you guys ever had a special apple before? They taste awesome… Don’t even. Seriously.
Dec 3rd
12 notes
I heard Michael wants a new sword for Christmas.
therealsatan: If he gets that shit, FML. Me and him have serious beef. He keeps throwing me these subtle hints, but I don’t know. I’m already getting him new wings, but I’m blowing the rest of the budget on new harps and sandals for everyone. So I’m not so sure. Sleep easy, Lucifer.
Dec 3rd
3 notes
I lost two followers because of God
mschainsaw: :’( :’( :’( Wait, what did I do? I’m just sitting here crunching the numbers on the second coming. Just, uh… you know, minding my own business.
Dec 3rd
21 notes
I got this whole vat of snow.
I’m kind of just sitting on it, waiting ‘til the time is right. Come on mid-December.
Dec 3rd
"Tumblr God"
dsfincannon: What exactly does that entitle me to? Apparently, no respect.
Dec 2nd