The jesest of them all.
(Source: magicwhistle)
No fags in heaven. God doesn’t like smokers and Jesus doesn’t want cancer.
That’s what I’m saying.
I call misquote.
(Source: mc-xc)
If you maintained this blog regularly it would be potentially the most glorious thing on tumblr.
Sorry.
I’m too busy maintaining THE ENTIRETY OF THE COSMOS ENCAPSULATING ALL OF EXISTENCE.
You know what? You’re going to hell.
You’re actually going to hell now.
That just happened.
(::::
Anonymous
You, my child, have too many eyes. I apologize.
Wait a second is longer than a year right?
Or something like that. What’s time again exactly?
I will smack you, I don’t care how grown you think you are because I’m growner.
I’m growner than everything.
Dear God, please bring to me a cute neighbor who i will become best friends with who is a guy. and one day i will ask him to kiss me because i have never been kissed. and he will do it and realize he loves me and then we will date and get married and be together forever
Anonymous
No problem.
I’ve put out an order to send your soulmate. His name is Ivan, he’s from Russia. He should be moving to a town somewhere in your state (or an adjacent one) in about 12-13 years. It was the best I could do; it’s hard messing with destiny and getting an exact hit, sorry.
But you guys are perfect for each other! Good luck! I hope it works out.
DJ Lazarus is spinning at The Temple this Sunday. Wine shots for anyone in the VIP.
Be there or be square. And also possibly banished to the pit of hell.
Basically.
(Source: mistersilasstingy)
